Gifts Wrapped in Hidden Meanings

Finally, Christmas is over.

I just returned from my annual holiday pilgrimage to my parents’ house near Santa Barbara. On the three-hour drive back to Orange County, I found myself reflecting on the whole ordeal.

What, exactly, makes the holidays stressful?

For one thing, many of us only see all of our family members, together, once or twice a year. This kind of likens the holidays to a mini-high school reunion: you see a group of people for the first time in a while; people with whom you once spent a great deal of time.

You know they are going to judge you; and you, them. You can’t help it– it’s human nature.

To add to the stress, you are presented with the task of selecting a gift for someone you don’t necessarily know so well anymore. Even worse, you will receive gifts from people who don’t necessarily know you so well anymore, either.

And these gifts act as a barometer for how well you’ve been keeping up your relationships.

During Christmas this year I watched my two brothers, who are incredibly close, give one another things that were absolutely perfect. In more than one case, I had gift-envy (I wanted a Garman GPS and a wide-angle camera lens too, dammit!)

Such is my punishment for not making more of an effort to keep up family relationships: no one knew that I wanted (or needed) these things.

I got the most generic of gifts from both of my brothers: gift-cards. An Amex one, even (that can be used anywhere- as in “I don’t even know where you like to shop!”)

Not that I’m complaining. He could have gotten me a Kay Jewelers gift card, right?

My Dad, in what I’m convinced was a clandestine attempt to placate my uber-religious Mom, purchased a non-fiction Christian text for all three of us kids.

Which is almost as bad as when he got my Mom the iMac that lives in his home office.

And I think he knew it, too, because he immediately said, “You know I’m not in the habit of buying you guys religious books, but this one is really good.”

Hmmm, we’ll see.

Or not.

All of which begs the question:

When it comes to gift-selection, is it worse to:

1. Not even attempt to buy something personal for the recipient;
2. Buy something you hope to get use out of yourself; or
3. Buy something that encourages the recipient to change in a way that you want them to?

Methinks A is the least objectionable, because it comes with a built-in New Year’s Resolution for the giftee: Don’t allow your family get-togethers to be like high-school reunions.

Make an effort to spend time with family members throughout the year. Who knows, you may even decide you like them!

If nothing else, next Christmas, you just might get a Garman GPS!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to call my brother and ask how he’s enjoying his religious text… something tells me us kids have more in common than previously thought!