Obama and The Nobel Peace Prize: The answer is obvious!

Have I got a story for you!

Do you miss hearing about the sexual adventures of Paris Hilton? Are you also nostalgic for standardized tests?

I knew it!

That’s why I decided to do the world a public service and write a mock question for your amusement… no awards, please.

As a veteran of the PSAT, SAT, GRE, and LSAT, I took the best from these tests to devise a new category. Behold:

I. Theoretical Reasoning:

Background: On March 30, 1981 at the Washington Hilton Hotel, Paris Hilton’s Mom Kathy decides to use her connections to get close to President Reagan, who is scheduled to speak at there. Just as Hinkley is preparing to assassinate him, Kathy flashes the President, which, in turn, causes him to grimace. The grimace has the effect of moving his body one inch to the right, allowing Hinkley’s sixth bullet to hit his heart afterall. Reagan dies in office, changing the course of history.

Flash forward 15 years. Taylor attends 6th grade in an L.A. suburb and sit across from Paris Hilton, who, true to her roots, never misses an opportunity to flash the class during nuclear war drills. Taylor is disgusted enough to act, and decides to do whatever is necessary to end the threat of nuclear war, so that future generations may be spared from Hilton flashes.

Q: According to the Nobel Laurate, which of the following should Taylor do to further world peace?

(A) Lead one of the world’s largest and most oppressive countries to independence via nonviolent methods of her own invention, inspiring movements for civil rights and freedom across the world.

(B)  End the Cold War.

(C)  Fearlessly defy the Militia Government that shot her spouse by becoming the first woman to successfully run for president. When they proclaim a fraudulent winner, support a peaceful revolution to take office. Once in office, buck the trend of those leading the military coup attempts by giving away some of her power (via restoring democratic fixtures like the Bicameral Congress) and emphasizing civil liberties.

(D)  Inspire people by speaking eloquently through the first 30 days in office as president, and propose lots of ambitious policies.

(E)  A, B, and C only.

Answer:

(D), as in  DUH!!

Because in terms of tangible accomplishments that move us toward world peace, anyone can see that Gandhi, Reagan, and Corazine Aquino have nothing on Obama!